so as i have blogged about before i pride myself on trying to lose weight the healthy way but it has gotten to the point where i’m just fed up. I think about throwing up after i eat daily… i have never done it but i think about it a lot. i have a hard time going to the gym here… i hate the environment of it and i’m scared people will look at me. you have seen pictures of girls who have thrown up and they all look fantastic. i always think about what if i just threw up right now… will it get me that much closer? ugh i just don’t even know what to do… i have been trying to eat right and trying to go to the gym but i see nothing. i want to be able to wear a bathing suit this summer and if its doesn’t happen i don’t know what i’m going to do since i live at the beach! its just hard because i have no one to talk to about any of this…